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by HeyDoYouLikeNaruto
Summary: Bazil Mortmuertetod is a student at Hogwarts. Watch as she battles with life, loss, and love - along with interdimensional travel! OCxVarious, crossover/AUs, a dash of lemons (;DDD). Rated T for language. I EAT THE SOULS OF FLAMERS FOR BREAKFAST!
1. Chapter 1

AN:/ This is only liek my 18th story here on , so plz be nice okay I don't flame all of ur fucking stories, ok? So don't flame mine. Thx so much to my friend Charizard cause she like helped me make this story and like beta'd and everything XOXO love ya! 3

OK, so konnichiwawa everybuddy! My name iz Bazil Mortmuertetod an student here aty Hogwarts! I am OF Course a FUCKIBND slytherin cause why wouldnt i be? What like you think I would be one of those prep geryffindprs? Or a fuckin LOOOSER hufflypuff? UM EZCUSE ME, NO?1 Amnd don't even get me started on those nerd RAVENLAWz ok because liek everyone knows that they suck, OK? cAUSE I had a FRIEND IN ravenflawe , or should I say I us3d to , because one time she stole my eyeliner and I KILLED HER. WITH MY WAND. AND MY EYELINER THAT SHE STOLE. She was so fukled up that they had to close her coffin at her funeral but thwe joke wz on them becuz i ddnt even go to her funeral and they all were trying to make me feel bnad but haha no loders i have a life god just let it go already geez.

OK SO ANYWAY …. I got out of bed and started to get ready foe just another BORING dy at this fuckibng prerp loser scholo called HOGWARTS. I put on my favourite (AN:/ see i spelt it the BRITISH way cause we're in fucking pbritiin OK? See i put a lot of research in this) dress which was long and black and was made msotl y of lace so that u could see ALOT of my skin but not liek my bboz or anythign cause I'm not a FUKCING WHORE like Hermionne or Cho ChANG because I'm a slytherin and we're no slutty we're fUCKING sexly,OK? Next I put on my kawaiiest pair of short ankle boot s that only reached my ankles. They weer black leather w/ silver buckles and they had like

Six chaines hanging off of the buckles that were so long they would scrape the groufn and they would make this loud clinking noise wheneevr i walk so that those fucking preps from the pther housex would know to get out of my FUKINFG WAY. My hair is long and straight and blond (AN:/ like natural awesome blond not slutty preppy died blonde ewww) so i tied it into a bronytail that went all the way down my back and almost touched my butt (AN:/ but like in in that way ewwwwwwwwwwwww). I put on a huge wide brimmed hat that casted a shadow all across my face so thot noone could see wat I was thinking or doing at all so it made me seem very mysterious to all of the preps. Even the teachers were nervouz around me sometimess. ALSO the hat kept the sunlight off my nskin so that I would stay pale becauze i'm already pale but i like to keep my skin pale so tht maybe one day it will become …. Even paler. So now i was ready to go outside, well not outside because fresh air is for looosers, but otaku of my room.

I waved to my bestest friendO in the world CHAIRY. I couldnt see if she waved back becquse she is an inja and ervyone knows that ninjas are indivisible with liberty and justice for I could hear the air rushing by super fast and it was like a SONIC BOoM so i know that she must have karate shopped the air and that is basically "ninja" for hello. I walked out of the door to my doomitory (AN:/ that's what the Brititsh people call their bedrooms they're so weird right? X3) which is actuallee a revolving door because I am a vip person at HOGwarts. Oh I meant to tell you that is because my dumbass asshole stepbrother is actually VOLDEMART! And he is datting Dumbledore who is headmeister so that means …. Theyre BORTH headmeisters! So I get to hav whateevr the FUCK i want in my dorm because i have special permission from the HEADMEISTER to avarda kedarvra anyone who tells me no.

Just as I got outside of my room I heard a knockin g on the other side of the door. I knowed it must have been my bf LUSCIOUS MALFOY. He's so smexy and tall he's like 5'4; okay he is like so tall and he is a tattoo artist and he gave me the tattoot of the dark mark i have on my arm but i also have to keep it all covered up with maekup because fuCKING dumbledumb (AN:/ hehe see what i did there?1) and my kissass suckfuck stepbrother VOLDEmort have this stupid rule that noone in hogwarts is allowed to have a tat becuz we're all "minorities" (AN:/ that means that we're all to young which is bullshit because i am actushuly WAY SUPER OLD ENOUGH).

ok SO i heard the knock at my dpoor and I knew it had to be Lucious because everyone else in the school knows that if they touched my stuff including my door i would cut their FUCKING hands then I realized that the knock was coming from INSIDE my room because I was OUTSIDE of my room which could only mean one thing ….. LUSCIOUS WAS TRAPPED INSIDE! DX


	2. Chapter 2: The Viscoues Cycel

Chapter 2: THE VISCOUS CYCLE!

AN:/ HEY EVERYBPDY! So I got my two friends, Champange and Cape Cod (they ddint want me to use their real names because they;re acgtually both under the witness protection program XD see theyre rreelly cool and edgy) to help beta this chapter. So XOXO tganks to both of them, ur the kakoiiest!

OK SO tehre I was on the loutside of my super awesome bedrrom rvolving door (AN:/ the one that Luscious was trapped in side from last chapter! X3). I could hear loud sobbing coming from the inside iof the door and normally if I herd a guy crying I would punch him in the dface and tell him to suck it up but since this was my boyfriend i decided to let it go especially since I know that Luscious suffwers from depression and stuff so I try to be supportative of him!

"DON'T WORRY LUSCIOUS, I'LL SAVE YOU!" I yelled through the door and although I couldnt hear if he said anythign back he was crying a little less hard so I know he believed in me! I ran full force at the revolving door and burts back into my doomitry, but Luscious was nowhere to be see =n. I whipped around and tried to follow the sound og hysterical sobbing and it let me .;.. BACK TO THE REVOLCING DOOR LEADING OUT OF MY ROOM! And now …. I WAS THE ONE LOCKED INSIDE!

I punded on the door and yelled out to Luscios to come save me. I could hear his heavy m,anly footsteps coming towards the door but I swas smart enough this time to not stand in the door because I knew if i did then i would be flung back outside and Luscious would be trapped inside again (AN:/this is because of something called a centraljungle force, it makes things going around in circles go really extra fST). But beayse of this CENTRALJUNGLE force Luscious came throu the door super fast and he slammed into me and because he was so big and muscular his body weight carried me all the way over onto my bed where he landed on top of me! OMG XD! He looked at me with the sexiest set of boredom eyes I had ever seen.

He started kidsing me and I ler him because I love him not becasue I'm a FUCKING slut like Genny or Lola Lovegood or whoever, this was real love, OK? His longjonsilver hit my kangaroo poucH BUT I WAS STIL L A VURGUN!1 cause it didnt go in my… happy meal! OUR TONGUES BATTLED FOR DOMINANCE! XP And I won! Luscious g-gasped and he swallowed my tongue by accident! (But its ok tho he spit it back out and we kept non making out it was no big deal!) his hotdogweener was in my bun, ketchup and all ;D! His disco stick noogied its way into my dance hall, disco balls swinging. His heat seaking missle rckoket into my area 51 ;DDD. His choco sauce pored all over my… bananana split sundae. His loolipop only got sweeter the more I sucked :D. I g-g-g-g-asped. I was catching an organism! I could tell he was also catching an organism! WE CAUGHT IT TOGETHER!

Luscious gasped an meoaned out, "CHAIRY11!" I stopped catching my organism and looked at him in disbeliefament and screamed, "YOU CHEATING BASTERDDDD!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Pain Remains 4Ever

CHAPTER 3: THE PAIN REMAINS 4EVER IN MY HART

AN:/ OK SO i got my firends Cantrip and Cote d'Ivoire to also beta this chapter so XOXO love you guyssss. Also I know that that last chapter was pretty graphic but this is my story and I just write from the heart so if you don;t like it, then don;t reqad!

I leapy up crying out of the bed and ran for the door but then I realized that I didn;t have my clothes on so I turned around and went ot my closet and pulled on a silver top that hung off of one shoulder and a pair of trousers (AN:/ which is British for pants!) and a pair of knee high boots that laced all the way up and were shiny silver to match my top. Then I pulled on my favorite cape which was long and black and swooshed behind me when I walked with a high collar that had a siolver chain across it that kept it on my neck and on the back of the cape there was a hige silver crown embroidered on it to remind all of the posers around me that I waas pretty m8ch wizard royaty here at hogwarts because I was related to BOTH of rhe headmeisters. Then I realized that my makeup was all messed up from crying so I sat down in front of my vanity whifh had a HUGE MIRRIOR on it .it used to be the Mirror of Erised but they gave ut to me since I was the only thing anyone in Hogwarts ever desired anyway so the only thing anyone ever saw in the mirrir was me so technically that made it mine. Plus I was the only one that could use it since the only person you could see in it was my face snyway. OK SO I out on a thick layer of foundation that made me look extra pakle even though I was already paler than anyone else in the schoool and then I put on my favoutite black eyeliner and made big wings on my eyelids that were magical so whenever I glared at someone they would fly off my face and they were also very sharp lines so they could cut people on my command. I didn;t put any lipstick on though because I wanted it to show on my lips when I ripped Chairy's throat out with my TEETH for CHEATING with my BOYFRIED!

Then I got up from my vanity and grabbed my wand from the top of my dresser and turned to Luscious and shouted, "I HATE YOU AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN." then I lifted my wand and without any remorse I screamed, "AVARDA BEDABRA!" and Luscious fell over DEAD. Thern I turned dramatically and swished my cape out behind me ass I left my room. It was time to go find CHAIRY. As I strode down the cardigan (AN:/ that's like British for hallway) all of the preps moved out of my way, even the students from Slytherin because even though normally they all love me this time they knew I meant BUSINESS. At the end of the Hall I heard a sonic boom znd I knew, CHAIRY was THERE.

I pulled out my wand aAnd screamed, "REVEALIAMUS!" and suddenly all of Chairy's ninja magic fell away and she was standing there wearing all gross preppy pink clothes fro like Hollister except her whole head and face was still covered buy a ninja mask. I pointed my wand at her again and yeled this time, "REVEALIAMUS FACIEM!" and her mask fell away and her face was finally revealed. She was HIDEOUX. The whole school pointed and laughed at her and sh e started crying like some kind of loser and she ran away trying to cover her ugly face but then Dumbledore came out and he made a spell and it put her face all over the banners ahnging in the great hall so evryone laughed even ahrder so she had nowhere to hide and she had to run away from the school and move to that preppy poser french school Beauxbatonrogue. (AN:/ this isn't bullying though because she was horrible to me first so she deserved it, OK?)

But even though the EVIL had been defeated I still fel t really sad on the inside so I turned and ran back deeper into the castle away from everybody and no i wasnt cryin so don;t even ask OK? SO ANYWAY i ran to this really far away secluded area of the castle where there we4re all these paintings stacked up against the walls and there was this one in the front that had this really HANDSOME brunette guy standing with a giant scythe thing in his hands with this giant edgy looking demon thing behind him and I just felt in my soul that this guy in the painting would understand me.

I leaned forward to stroke his face (AN:/ not like in a creepy way I was in love ok sometyimes people do weird things when theyre in love) but my hand wenty STRAIGHT THROU THE PAINTING! And it was like I was being sucked into liek the hose of a giant vacuum cleaner cause i was tumbling down but I couldn;t see anything because it was so dark and i couldnt hear anything but a loud wooshing noise because I was going so fast. The painting was actually….. A PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION!


	4. Chapter 4: Teh Death Note

CHAPTER 4: THE DEATH NOT

AN:/ Hey y'all! B SEE I said y'al because I'm southern now because I moved so that the CBS won't be able to find me because of all those people I killed. And peasking of people I killed somebody FUCKING FLAMEC my FUCKING STORY. WHEN I ROLD YOU SPECIFCALL NOT TO. I'm not a FUCKING psoer coptcat ur the FUCKING POSER coepycat! AND ANYWAYS ur name """sir"""" i literally 'Blah" liek how boring and gross u r so THERE. ANWAYS enjoy this chap and pls review thx!

OK SO I nfell out of the portall and I came through the ceiling of a classroom and landed directly into one of the desks. Nobody noticed me becuas they're all nerdy loser preps who were all focused on the teacher like some kind of LOSERS! I looked down at myself and noticed that all of my clothing HAD CHANGED! (AN:/ like this was because of the magic in the portal not because I got naked or anything slutty like that ew) NOw i was wearinb one of those kawaiiii sailor looking outfits taht the girls always have on in anime. Exept instead of being white and blue liek all thse preppy losers in those girly animes (AN:/ why the FUCK fdo they always choose those colors anyway? They;re so stupid and BORING) mine was all red white a super cute mini skirt and instead of those stuPID looking cshoulder neck thingys I had on a black corset and a really long thin tie kinda like the ones Billie Joe Armtstong wears. I also had on combat boots that went all the way up to my thighs (AN:/ see so my legs are covered OK os it's allowed and the school can't say anything about it SO THERE).

The teacher was being DUPER boring amd I didnt want to lsiten to him, so instead I turned and looked around the classroom. All of the kids were all ugly and preppy looking except for this one SUPER HOT guy sitting next to me. He was like super tall and his hair waz swept to the side over one of his eyes whihc was super sexy becayse it made him look emotionless and myterious. He was wearing the school unfirm just like everyone else but it looked different and way sexier on him because you could see all of his rippling muscles through his clothe like all of them omg he is so ripped.

OK SO he was looking out the window all bored but then SUDDENLY he turned around and saw me and i=his jaw dropped like to the floor and he said, "OMFG you are soooooo hot" and I said, "I know, right?" And I wiked at him and did a backbend over my chair so that he could see how HUGE my boobz were. "O M F G." he said and there were legit tears in his eyes fro how beautiful I lookwed, "will you fucking marry me?" he said. "No, Raito-kun, we can't1! It wouldn't be raito!" (AN:/ hehe see what i did there?) "Well why not, BaZIL-chan?" "because…" I began with tears in my eyes, "YOU DDIDNT EVEN GET ME A FUCKING RING OMFG YOU POSER IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE ME!"

I ran out of the classroom crying andd Light cheased after me and the teacher yelled at him, "Hey, Mr. Yogurtmi, sit teh FUCK back dowen!" But Light didn't care becauze he loved me way more than any of his stupid prep classes so he yelledx back, "NO FUCK U. UR OLD AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU!11!" And the teacher was so heartbroken becasue he knew it was true because Light is the smartest student in all of Japan and therefore he is never wrong/. OK SO Light chased me and he cuaght me because his legs are so long and he is sooooo fast andd he said, "Bazil-chen, I know that I didnt get u a ring but that;s because I have somethinfg even better to give you! WORLD DOMINATION!11!" I wiped the tearz from my eyes but now my makeu was all smudges but that wazOK becuase it made me look even more depressed and sad inside, "I-I guess that could make up for it. OH RAITO-KUN!" and then i through myself into his big MUSCLY arms and we started making out and then after a lot of making out we started having S-E-X (AN:/ but it was ok tho because we were going to get married lol).

His ballpoint pen sccribbled all over my Death NOte ;DDDDDD The ink splattered all over my pages! We both had an organisation at the same time! Hen when we were don he took m e back to his house and he told his mom we were getting married adn that we were going to his room so don't bother us. She was SUPER excited and called all of ehr friends to tell them that she had a new daughter now and that she was going to disown the old stupid loser one she already ahd because her new daughter was so flipping AWESOME.

We went upstairs and wwere gonna do some more awesome sex stuff but when I went into his room I said, "Light who's this awesdome looking demon guy in your room?" And Light said, "OMFG Bazil-chan you can see him?!" And the awesomw goth demon dude was like, "UH yeazh dude of course she can, she's the DAUGHTER OF DEATH!"


	5. Chapter 5: THE DAUGHTER OF DEATH

cHAPTER 5: THR AUGHTER OF DEATH!

"UH yeazh dude of course she can, she's the DAUGHTER OF DEATH!"

I Gasped! I knew that I had alwasy been different than those otehr preps around me, and now I knew why! I was the DAUGHTER OF DEATH! "B-But wait…." Ligth saiad confussed (AN:/ this wax not because he is stupid OK he is the smartest perwson in all of Japan way smarter than L OK? L WAS A DUMB LOSSER! And Ligtn is only confuze d here because he has never heard of the DAUGHTER OF DEATH before because it's liek super top secret in the shinygami world OK?)

"What's the daughter of death?" he asked in a totally seexy voice that was like mochi to my ears. "It's when the God of gods of death gets too powerful so that he is so full of awesome powe tr that if he doesn;t get rid of some of it he wil EXPLODE and DESTROY the ENTIRE UNIVERSE with his awesome power like a nuclear explosion of DEATH GOD POWER. So instead of doing that becasue that would be totally not radical and would just mess up everyone;s day he photosynthesizes all of that AWESOME POWER into the form of a human, well not a regular human, but into the DAUGHTER OF DEATH. And then bro this DAUGHTR OF DEATH has like all of the God of gods of death's powers so she's like a shinigami except even more powerful. She can kill anybody JUST WITH HER MIND, like she doesn;t need to use a death noter at all and she doesn;t have to know anyone;s real name or face she can just think of them and BOOM THEY'RE DEAD. Also she doesn;t have to follow any of the Deatgh Note;s rules so when she wants to kill someone she doesn;t have to wait for the 40 seconds she can just kill them IMMEDIATELY. And she can kill them any way she wants so it doesn;t have to be something all boring and "possible", dude, it can be like ANYTHING!"

Light gsaped and sat down in his chair kinda like he was gonna faint but of course he wasn;t going to because he is my bf and my bf is always a toigh manly man. He sat with his head in his hands and his sexy red/brown/blonde hair all swung in front of his face and covered his eyes. He started shaking and at first I thought that he was crying but instead he started laughing in the really sexy insane sounfing way and he threw his head back and his sexy hair flew all around his head like a silky halo (AN:/ see and it makes sense for Light to have a halo because he is A God, Literally! X3). "This…..is…...PERFECT!" Light howled and then he jumped up out of his chair and he grabbed me and we both started passionately making out.

"Uh awqward" Ryuk said and he turned into a puff of black smoke and disappeared thorugh Lights bedroom wall and he left us alone. Me and Light were gonna sex again but we had already sexed earlier that day and we were too tired so instead Light said, "I have somebody who I need uou to kill RIGTH OW! His name is-" "NEAR." i finished the sentence for him ebcasue we are soulmates andw e are connected so I can always tell what he is thinking. Light noded and I said, "Yeah I fucking ahte that fucker, he is so stupid and dumb. He's like just a little kid like omg someone come change ur diaper. Cause your shitty. And he's so stupid because like L was stupid but Near stole everything from L, like how stupid can you be to have to steal from someone who is already s D?!"

"yes, " Light giggled because he was so happy that his soulmate waas so smart and observient, "but now with your DAUGHTER OF DEATH powers we can kill him once and for all. si how are we gonna murder this fucker?" "I KNOW!" I said giddily because I had an idea, "How abooy we have him sacaraficed to some sort of cult and then we'll have him burned live and then we can watch him scream and then roast marshmallows from his ashes!" " that is such a great idea Bazeru-chan!"

I grinned and pumped my fust in the air excitedly, "LET'S DO IT!"


	6. Chapter 6: MY TITLE IS TOO LONG :( !

cHAPYER 6: Te Night is Dark and Full of Tereors

AN:/ OMFG this is such BULLCARP. I ahd such a supwer cool and awesomem title fir this chap and dumbass fanfictoin wouoldn't let me call it that!1 :( Nw I am liek super fucuking pissed! :( OK SO ANYWAYS enjoy the chap and pls leav comment thx!1

I clsoe d my eyes and focussed my magical death poweers. As I ddid all of a sudden all these clors started swirling around me except it wasn't "all" these colors like in a rainbow because that would be STUPID it was actualyy just re and black.

OK SO ANYWAY these red and black smoke swirly stuff started swirling all around me and suddenly I was floating up off the ground adn my hair was all swirling around me too like I was in the middle of a twirlnado. Then my whole bpdy started glowing with this ominous black light and then my eyes flew open and they were glowing too except they weere all black now like a demon. As I swirled around I opened my mouth wide and though me head back and shouted the magucal curse words that would start the killing curse and they went like this, "OH GREAT POWERS OF SATAN HELP ME KILL THIS PREPPY LITTLE FUCKER." And then SUDDENLY the hole room was apsorbed in black smoke and when I opened my eyes again me and Ligth were standing togeter still but now we were outisde instead of inside and it was snowing out which was weird because it wasn't snowing before.

We looked around and saw all these angry looking people wearing cloasks and swords and stuff. They were all looking in the same directio so we decideed to look over in that direction too. And there right in front of us WAS A HUGE WOODEN STAKE. And tied to the wooden stake was NEAR. He was cryign like a little baby and while he was crying his tears were turning to icicles on his face because it was so cold out but that only made him look like more of a loser because now everybosy could tell that he was crying. "Stop your indfernal whaleing you blibering dolt!" An awesome looking woman wearing all red said as she come through the crowd.

She looked super gothic chic OK she was wearing a long dreess that was liek super tigh t but not like in a slutty way, well a little in a slutty way but it was ok because sh e was and aduot and she had this awesome choker necklace on with this big shiny red jewel in the middle of it and her hari was died red but not like stupid ginger orange red this was cool bloody roses red. "The Lord of Light commands that you should die and therefore you have to die now ok goodbye." She said and she turned to Near and pulled a flamethrower out of her pkockt and sprayed it on Nwar and he started screaming and cryign except he wasn't crying enough water to put out the flames and that only made him cry more. Then he was so burnt up that he couldnt scream anymore so then we all had a big bonfire instead and roasted marshmallows just like me and Ligth said we would (AN:/ see it's not that messed up OK li9ke really they were just being enronmental friendly OK CAVIAR? Bcuz otherwise they would've had to chop down more trees adn stuff and then that would'd .have killed all the squirrels!)

Then when we finished up the aw3esome red woman came over to me and said "Hey, you look pretty cool. I'm Mellisand, what;s your name?" "I'm Bazil." I said. "O M F G. No way!" She said all excited, "You're like, a goddess. I'm one of ur followees. I burned that stupid dude over there for you!" She said with the heart eyes.

I saw this was my chan ce to truly bevome the goddess I always knew I was and sai, "Yes. That was exactgly as ( I commandeered." And then all of the people in cloasks dropped to their knees before me nd started yelling about how great I was. Then they declared me queen of all 17 kingdoms and put o crown on my head that was black and silver and made to look like a bunch of flames and it also had a bunch of different red stoned on it that sparkle and look like they're on fier whenever I turn my head. Ad then ALLOFA SUDDEN the flames that we had burned near in started burning agin only this time instead of red flames they weer bright yellow.

I knw that this was a signal from the Gid of Death telling me that I needed to leave so I stood up above my subjects and I sadi, "lol bye loswes" and I grabbed Light by the arm and we both leapt into the 90 foot tall yellow flames. The flames didn't bun me or anything because I am the DAUGHTER OF DEATH it was just kinda warm and it actually felt really nice. Then a tunnel opened up on the otehr side of the fire so I walked towards it and I walked through this giant arch of fire out onto this grassy green field.

I turned around to ask Light hwere tHE FUC we were but then I realized …. LIGHT DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE FIRE!


	7. Chapter 7: I tust in my INSTANCTS

Chapter 7: I Trust My """INtincts"""

AN:/ OK SO I jst got a whoel bunch of flames and I jst wanna set teh story strait (AN(ception):/ and that's not meanst to be homoscopic or anything ok so don;t flam me on that eiher!). Soem people haev said that I am a difrent author posting under this user name. This is tottally NOT TRUE. HOW FUKIGN DAR YU THI NK THAT MY STOTRY IS ANTHINK BUTT ORIGIN AL! OK SO ANYWAY rant ove r but lbr peeps HDYLN-chan is 1000% original. I'm jsut here to hve fun and if you don't liek that then you can KIS MY ENTIRE ASSHOLE!

I turned around adn ran back towards the fire but just as I gt to them they suddlenyl disappeared so instead I just ran through thin air. But then I heard a voice in my head that said, "BAZIL I AM YOUR FATHER THE GOD OF GODS OF DEATH AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT LIGHT IS OKAY THE MAGICAL FLAMES TOOK HIM BACK HOME SAF BUT I ALSO WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM BECAUSE HE IS A TOTAL FUCKBOI."

"What now way?" I said, flabbitghosted. "YES WAY HE ALREADY HAS ANOTHER GIRFRIEND AND YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN APART FOR TWO MINUTES HER NAME IS MISA MISA AND SHE IS DU,B AND PREPPY" " that cheating son of a bitch!" I said and started to cry. "YES BUT IT IS OK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT DATING ANYMORE SO NOW YOU CAN GO AND FIND SOMEONE TO DATE WHO IS EVEN HOTTER!" the voice faded away so i stopped crying and sat up and decided tht my dad was right, I was goig to get a boyfriend who was even HOTTER than Light!1

"Just then this tall blond guy came runnig across the field witha bunch of little weird looking animals around him. He has spiky blonde hair and he is wearing an orange hoodie with a blac and yellow leather jacket on top of it and leather pants that were really rea;;y really really reaalllly tight. wE maded eye contact across the field and it was lik one of those mvie scenes and the whole world was in slo(poke) motion and I could c the terrs in his eyes. WE WERE MEwTWO BEE(drill)!(AN:/ hehe geddit cuas theyre Paceman puns! XD) He got up in feront of me adn he stopped running ansd OMFG when he was in front of me he is ike sooooooooooooo mcuh taller thwn he seemed from far away. (AN:/ this is because oif a thing called perscription not because he grew like a goant or anything!) We didn;t have to say a wrod to each other to know that we were alreqady in love. It's like this thing that hot people have and ugly people wouldn't undersdtadn it which is why they always have to like taljk to each othweer wich is really dumb and so if u don't gt it then I guess ur ugly SORRY.

OK SO ANYWAYS we loowed at each other and knew that we were totally in ,ove because we were both the hottest people in the entire universe and yeah sorry if ur on team valet or team mistake but Spark is sooooo much hotter like do u even have eyes DUH? He garbbed my face and started making out with me with passion. He lickied my tung ;DDDD. It was like agym battel in our mouths! All of a sudden Spark's electirc pokemon became a wood type ;). His OnOx used HARDEN! His beedrill used slam against my kangastan's puch ;PP My leggies pinsired his bod, around his waste. He bone rushed me ;)). /spanI could see sparks! I gaseped! WE BOTH THREW OUR POKEBALLS AND CAUGHT ODDISHES AT THE SAMER TIME! We mud sported all over the ground.

When we were ddone I starteed cryig nd i didn;t know why. Sp[ark said, "What's wrong Bazil?" And I said, "I don't know I just started crying!" and he said, "Let's take u to Prof Willow Smith he'll know whwta to do!" And so Spark scooped me up into his arms and he carried me like ove r 100 miles all the way to teh Profession's house. /

The layed my down on teh doctor tabl e wher ethey normally look at all the pokemen but this was aan emergencgy so they cleaared everything off special for me. The Protestant used all his doctor thinga on zme and when he was financed he pushed his glasses down his facrd and looked all serious. "What's the matter doctor am i dying?" I asked even though I kwne the answer was no because I am the DAUGHTER OF DEATH and I am immortal.

"No, Bazil-chan, it's even worser. You're . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PREGNANT!"


	8. Chapter 8: One for each Jolteeon

Chapter 8: One for Each Joeteon (spolier X3)

I couldn;t beleave what I was hearing! "How is that [ossible Prof?" Spark asked. "Well Spark-kun, whe a man an d a woman love weach other veeeeeeeeery much…." Professor Willow started telling spark abotu the Pidgeys and teh Beedrolls. "B-But Prof-" Spark said confussed when the story was over, "The'yre weren't even any pidgeys or beedrills arpound! I just put my thingy in her thingy!"

"Oh Spark you dumb fuck" Professor Willow said and then he shooked his head and walked away. Spark turned to me all excite and said, "dO u think it's gonn boy or a girl?" "Ummmmm Idc as long as it's a gothic." I responded. "And ANYWAYS babies are so dumb OK ewwwwwwwww they just cry and poop everywhere and they're just gross mini-people who are worse than normal people and normal people are already AWFUL."

Spark gotted real sad then and i could tell because he no longer had the eye sparkles because he was a family man and he wanted a reaaaaaaaallly big family but before I COUld repsong to him I screamed an extremely metal scream because I was GOINF INTO LABOR! It hurt like suuuuuuuper bad but I didn't cry or antyhing like those stupid preps when they have babies no I was just liek badass and stoic except for like a metal scream here and there but those metal screams had nothing to do w the pain it was just because I was practicing for my screamo band and I ddin't want my voice to get rusty. "OMG Bazil they're so …. So beautiful!" Spark said with tears in his eyws.

"THEY!" I said and I was super pisse because i didn ;t want fucKIGN twins! But Spark had readed my mind with our hot person connection because he said, "No, not twins! Octuplets!" I was gunna yell at Spark because it's his stupid fucking fault that we had all of the stupid fuckgin babies but when I looke d down Sapro wasn't holding human babies, HE WAS HOLDING EIGHT JOLTEON PUPS! I grabbed one of thw Joletons and held it close to my chetxs and said, "I'll name this one …. Spark Jr.!" And Sparku started crying because he was so happy that I loved him so much! "What should we name the otber ones?" "OMFG I DON'T FUCKIJG KNOW WHY DON'T U DO SOME OF THE WORK EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, SOARK? UGh ur such an ASShoel!"

I leeped up form the table and stromed out of the room. "No Bazil pls! NOt in fornt of the children!" Spark was crying but I DIDN'T car e because they were his reponsibility now OK cause why shoudl I have tpo have the kids AND take care of them? I was just about to sotmr out of the lab but tehn I saw Balance holding a whoel pile of Vapeorns and Candelabra with a bucnh of Flareons and I started cryign because I realize that Sp[ark had been CHEATING ON ME! I was SO ANGRY so I scurnched up my eyes and used my DAUGHTER OF DEATH powers and then all of the biggest and scariest Poekmon in the lab all showd up and ATE CANDELA AND BLANCHE WHOLE! BUt i didn;t hurt the eeveees because they were innocent adn that would be jsut mean to kill them OK? T

rhen I turned on my heel and stimped back into the room where Spark was still stadning staring at the doorway because 4he hadb't moved since I left cause he was a FUCKIGN IDITO. Without a word I screamed, "YOU CHEATING FUCKBOI MANSLUTTTTTTTT!" adn raised my hand and thn all of My Jolteons children jumped up and then all attacked him becasue htey loved me mroe than him and they all shocked him until he was electorcuted TO DEATH.

tHEN I was still so heartboken that he would cheat on me that I ran out of the room and I had tears in my eyes so I couldnt see where I was going. I bumped into somehting so I opened my eye sand there was an Arceis standing there and then suddently the whole whoel staretd goign black like when u turn the tv off but its all staticky and crackly first and I foudn mysel f falling through another protal through space and time!


	9. ATTENCION

ATTENCION!

OK everybpody! I have a nannouncement to make! This story is gonan have to go on an . . . . . . . . . HAITIAN!

I so soryry to everynone who has been follwoing this story becuz they loooove it but you know what they say "K sarah sarah". NO thsnks at all to my NOT fi4ned Sharpay (and C I calle d u sharpey cause ur like that dumb preppy bithc form HSM ((whicb is a fuckitn preepy movie anyway wich i only watche dbcuz of u!))) ans Corkscrew (bcuz corkc SCREW YOU U PREP).

I haet you both bcauze you fufcking sppoiled the endign of DEADPOOL for me. HOW was I suppsoed to knwo thet he doens 't die in the pool at the edn like in the Greater bGassby? That's his name isn't it?/ DUH ur all just dumb prps anyways and I can't believe i made u all thowse friendshape bracelets at summer camp!

OKSO ANYWAYS . . . . . . sorry to eveyrbody and hopfully thsi story will be bakc up and runnign in know time!


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